Losing His Virginity

The very title of the movie "The 40-Year-Old Virgin" left me at a loss for words when I first heard it. The obvious implication is of course that there really is no one out there who hasn't had sex by age 40. There's also the suggestion that if you haven't done it by age 40, you are either a closeted something or other, or there is clearly something wrong with you. The fact of the movie was a sign of the times.

The movie itself suprised me though. Yes, it had its share of gratuitous graphic sex jokes and a clear anti-PC thrust of men moving back to their beer 'n' lust caveman roots. But Andy the virgin wasn't half the nerd-slash-loser the billboards and previews made him out to be. Rather, he was quite a relateable -- and it should be noted, highly unusual these days -- man who had learned to fill his life with things other than an obsession with sex. I even found myself cheering a bit at the end, though with mixed feelings about the message of the overall film. It clearly confirmed my own read that our culture has flushed whatever shred of sanctity of marriage and sex existed even 15 years ago down the fungus-y, pond-scummy gutter and that abstinence is officially the new dirty word.

In a recent article on the celibate celebrity, the rarity of the virgin is discussed. When it comes to the industry, it's hard to say what came first -- did Britney lose her virginity in an act with her ex-pubescent boyfriend, or was her innocence already kaput from her "I'm not that innocent" moves on the big stage? Somewhere between my teens, when it was a really big friggin' deal that Brenda did it with bad boy Dylan on 90210, and today, when we see parents cheering on their kids for giving it up on The O.C., something went more than a little out of control. The problem is, people are also more depressed, have lower self-esteem and are more confused about their identity than ever. It's all so f-ed up. Literally.