My torrid affair with eBay

You may have noticed I dropped off the blog for a couple of dramatic months. Let's just say I was tied up...

I last mentioned eBay in my post, When the sh*t hits the fan, in which I spoke kindly but casually about a certain expectation that I know will be met in my relationship with eBay. But alas, as with so many relationships, things took a nosedive after we consummated it in my first purchase.

Yes, we've had some good times -- I did get a pair of Technic turntables and a solid Vestax Pro 5 mixer out of you, as well as a couple of vinyl collections. But I've been hurt before and I know when I'm being played. It starts with a little harmless flirtation: a pair of boots here, a hip-hop record there. Then you get into fantasy mode: My God, the possibilities of endless good deals on nearly new or NWOT (eBayese for "new without tags") items! The obscure bands I can never find albums for whose CDs will come to me with a simple search! That thing I thought I might need that one time that I can now get for cheap! Then eBay comes in for the kill with your first auction item won -- when you were just playing around, bidding pennies for crap. But the thrill is real. You move on to bigger purchases, get in a few tussles with faceless bitches that get a little ugly, but you come out good in the end. eBay still loves you, right?

But then it happens: You get swooped. (A "swooper" will violate by filching your item within the last three minutes of bidding. Dirty.) You learn a few lessons about placing your highest bid, but then it happens again...and again. It soon becomes clear that your relationship has gone from mutual love and respect to shameful degradation in just a few short weeks (or less than 30 seconds, depending on how you look at it).

My addiction to eBay stems in part from my own OCD, I admit. As another eA-er (eBayer Anonymous) commiserated with me, "eBay is the OCD person's dream come true." eBay is that one that seems so perfect with all the right qualities and answers, but in the end, really is just a fantasy. eBay isn't committed to you like you are, and has not one, not two -- but millions of other partners. You didn't want to believe it at first, even though you knew it was true.

Sigh. Back to working on relationships with real people.