March Crush of the Month: The Renaissance Man

So I'm a few months early for the big "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" summer release. Hard for me to hold back on Johnny. When Toni Colette plays unhot, she's unhot. Even when Colin Firth (a future official crush, just wait) plays unhot, it works (see "The English Patient," "Shakespeare in Love"). No one -- NO one can possibly increase their hotness inversely proportional to the utterly un-hot roles they choose, but Johnny alone.

Observe:

The haven't-bathed-for-days psychotic


The Jacko-esque candyman


The swaggering rapscallion


Okay, this one's cheating -- love for the kids, a writer, wearing trenchcoat and derby -- he's got hot all over this one.