The Man Drug

There are certain women who seem to attract men everywhere they go. They release a certain pheromone that seems to draw men in droves. My roommate H-Town calls them "the man drug."

I've seen it enough to be able to detect it almost upon first encounter. I happen to live with two man drugs, and one former man drug. SL-Bug has been engaged two and a half times. A-Lyte has had three men in the last year profess their love for her, most of whom she hardly knew. Queen SK's college boyfriend tattooed her name on his leg (?) and a few years ago had two men talking marriage in the same month. Then there's me. As Molly Ringwald declared in the role of Samantha Baker, "Donger's here for five hours, and he's got somebody. I live here my whole life, and I'm like a disease."

However, years of singleness does give you some perspective. I think I'm too busy being attracted to the Woman Drug to be a Man Drug myself. The Man Drug lures in its prey by declaring in action -- not word -- expressing one of the following: "You are one hot, special guy with no real flaws," or "I need you, but not in a needy, dramatic way." Most fall into the middle category -- there's nothing more irresistible to a man than a woman who pets his ego. In addition, what men don't seem to realize is that the scent of the Man Drug is deceptive. Almost all women are emotionally needy in some way or another, even if by repression. It all goes someplace, and once the man realizes this, he moves on to a new Man Drug and the vicious cycle continues. (Isn't insanity defined somewhere as a person's continued action or impulse expecting different results than experience has proven?)

Now the Woman Drug is just as interesting a dilemma. I can now identify the Woman Drug after three years of counseling -- I've finally kicked the habit. The Woman Drug says to the woman, "Save me" or "You are the only one that understands me." Women can't resist playing Florence Nightingale to the emotionally unavailable. They think, "If only I can break through this guy, it means I'm worth something." Sad, yes. Have any of you read Genesis? It's all in chapter 3, people.

So I'm off the drugs -- too reactive. They cost too much self-respect and shame. Just find me that one man out there that knows who he is and what he wants.



Make a wish, Samantha.