The Available Sign

Although we technically no longer live in the era where we need to depend on a dowry and willing male suitor, or a time of arranged marriages, I don't know if there will ever be a time where the single woman has full say in whether or not she gets the man.

Despite the movements of women's liberation, feminism and the like, when you boil it all down we women still want to be cared for in a relationship where we are not playing Mom to our mates.  I include myself in a line of women who still believe that it is the man's job to ultimately lead in a relationship -- not in a patriarchal, chauvinistic way, but in a grown man with balls way. I have male friends who agree with me on this, more knowing that it's as good for them as it is for us.  And having gone the "take charge" way before and have it backfire miserably, I don't need much more convincing.   

Which is not to say women sit back and hope and pray for the him to show up on our doorstep like a FedEx Christmas present.  There are certainly ways to send signals of openness and communicate interest.  But what do we do when we are all out of our bag of tricks?  We find ourselves right back in the middle of Jane Austen England, where if he's just not that into you or if he doesn't have the guts to respond, the lady is S.O.L. 

Sometimes I wish we lived in a society (does one even exist out there?) where we could all just be upfront with our cards.  "I like you," "I don't like you," "I like you but am emotionally unavailable."  Sometimes the signs-only world that is our dating culture gets very tiresome, and I'd say gets us all into more complicated situations than not. Maybe we're all a little too afraid of hurting each other's feelings. But I'll take hurt feelings any day over mixed signals for months. It's a time saver... and at 31 that counts for a lot.