Once in a while, the clutter of thoughts about my present and future unknowns subsides and I remember the past, and how far I've come. I had a realization the other day that part of the difficulty of being single in your 30s and onward is that as you may have become an adult over the years -- by the grace of God -- not everyone else is growing alongside you. People you once looked up to may be in a similar rut as they were, or have changed in a way that is different from what you expected. Others may have quietly become personal heroes to you, that you might not have predicted just a few years ago. I guess that's the thing about a person's character; it is formed on deep within them, often times quietly.
Although I don't consider myself a person who has had to confront a lot of suffering in my life, I have had my share of loneliness, depression and disappointment. And I know from the little I've experienced of true suffering, that God has taken that and shaped me from it more than anything else has. Maybe part of being an adult is learning to receive even the suffering in your life as something God intends to redeem into something deep within your character. I'm grateful for the ways I can hope and care for people better because of my own scars.
"That's right, Eliza... You're a lady now." -- "My Fair Lady," 1964
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