The Bros in My Life

Every girl - single or otherwise - should be so lucky to have the totally amazing, unconditionally loving, completely platonic men in her life that I have.  I believe that if I ever leave the single sisterhood, I’ll still rely on these men for everything my guy can’t be.

The Big Bro
Kevin is my bro, and not just because he’s black. He’s a little older and wiser, and provides me the perspective I need on whatever current drama or lack thereof my love life is.  He looks out for me, and won’t have me settling for some passive, indecisive clown, but will also provide the male point of view on things like basic communication and giving guys a fair shot.  He also has this amazing way of pointing out where I’m wrong in the gentlest way possible.  He once observed that I wore my singleness with shame, and that instead I should be proud of the way I’ve used my time.  In that same breath, he reminded me there’s no limit to what God can do for me and on my behalf.  Translation: Stop feeling sorry for yourself and start trusting God.  But it sounded nothing like that.  Those are the kind, corrective words of a Big Bro.

The Dating Coach
Fabian is my dating coach.  He is the rare guy that will provide all of these things when I ask for his counsel: the norm for guys, what he would do and the range of guy responses.  Most of my guy friends will make broad, blanket statements about guys based entirely on themselves or they’ll be like girl friends who encourage you to hold onto a hopeless situation.  Fabian also repeatedly reminds me of my worth, that I shouldn’t settle for someone who doesn’t get that and has hope that I'll find it when I'm all out of hope.  That is also a rare dude quality: He believes in me and can say it, even when times are tough.  He’s the best.

The Devoted Buddy
Justin is my devoted buddy.  He may be outspoken and at times downright insensitive, but he isn’t afraid to express his genuine value for me as a person and for our friendship.  He also knows when to limit his words or not to talk. When Hideo passed away, he sat with me in the middle of a restaurant and listened and while I cried, and he just let me be sad in that moment - rare dude behavior.  His only response was one of empathy - reminded of a difficult loss in his own family. If I am ever really in need and Justin is able to do something about it, I know that he wouldn’t hesitate to do it.  He’s just that kind of a friend.

The Gay Buddy
Jose is my gay buddy.  I can talk to him about boys, and he both gets it as a guy and as someone who likes guys.  He can help me with all my handyman needs, and can be a big protector, but we can also laugh about being wusses compared to the likes of Starbuck on Battlestar Galactica.  Everyone needs a Jose.

The Younger Bro
Eric is my little bro.  He is actually only a couple of years younger than me in age, but if I ever had a biological younger brother, he would be it.  We are wired very similarly, so I understand how he thinks and what he’s going through. He can also argue and piss me off in a way only my flesh and blood sisters can.  He comes to me for advice about girls, he lets me freak out about guys I'm interested in, and we cheer each other on.  I hope some girl discovers what a caring, committed gem he is.  

Though I've been single for more years than I had hoped or thought I would be, I can't deny that I've always had men in my life to remind me that I'm cherished, enjoyed and valued for who I am. I can fully be myself around them, no holds barred, and know that I'll never be turned away. I am reminded of God's provision for me no matter how long I remain single, because of my beloved bros.