The Failing Economy of Dating

Our major investment banks, stock market and job market are not the only things plummeting in the United States. There is also the matter of the slow decline of resources in the world of Christian dating.

As a single Christian woman who is neither white, nor affiliated with the fundamentalist religious right, nor merely a nominal Christian who's beliefs have no bearing on her actual life and views, from an economist's standpoint it could be said that I entered the market already at a deficit when it comes to number of options. Add in a timetable of those small resources slowly declining, and though you may not get a sudden market crash, a girl can get the feeling that this country didn't end up being the land of opportunity she thought it could be.

She might find herself having thoughts more regularly like, "I really am both the oldest and only single person in this room," or "Are there really only losers and passive men left?" and find a sinking feeling that the salad days of yore are never to be returned to. Unlike the fiscal economy, this pool of resources doesn't cycle back up.

Though it will take millions of jobs and dollars to bring our country back to a functioning, thriving level again, it is sometimes easier for me to believe that is possible than that there is any one guy out there for me. Money that already exists can be reallocated and channeled in new ways to invigorate an economy. The same cannot be said about the endangered species of men who would be right for me.

I do believe though that hitting rock bottom is necessary for both kinds of economies to improve. While our country is at a point where we want to learn from the mistakes of the Great Depression, and take informed measures not to repeat history, I'm hoping my rock bottom has already hit and that I, too, will learn from the mistakes of my past and be more open to a future that probably involves a significant amount of change. The country may be waiting for new orders from our new president-elect, but I await a word and act of redemption from my God.

Nibbling

Most days, I'm at least somewhat able to hold onto hope that something good out there awaits, whatever that may be. I'm grateful for what I have -- a job I enjoy with coworkers and a boss that I respect and like, a community of friends that I know love me and would be there for me in a minute if I needed them, parents who raised me to value authenticity in myself and in those around me, and the list can go on. 

But once in a while, the wear and tear of disappointment or loneliness that sometimes comes with growing in different ways than those around me can get the better of me. Once in a while, there's a long-term wear day.

But as I sit in my room tonight, feeling the weight of future "what-if-nots," I know that somehow this will all help me love and suffer with people better in the end. Somehow it's the difficult stuff that makes the most difference once you get through it. And I can at least hope in that.

Waxing Obama

There may be some who foolishly believe that Barack Obama is some magic savior that will solve all of the country's many abysmal problems. There may be some who voted for the celebrity of Obama -- probably the first presidential candidate to substantially infiltrate video games, rap songs, pop radio stations and SNL. He is definitely "cooler" and "hipper" than McCain -- who Chris Rock recently described as "OLD-old." Others may just be relieved just to have a coherent, thinking Democratic president in office. And still others may see that he represents a new generation of adults that are now the voters and contributing citizens of America, and a change in what we need from a leader.

But in the weeks leading up to today, and as I stood in line this morning waiting an hour at Greater Page Temple down my street to vote with many neighbors I'd never met before and who rarely leave their houses, the impact has struck me of what it might mean to have a Black president for the first time in American history. I thought of the people I've lived right next to the last 10 years who struggle so hard to believe even graduating high school and going to college is possible, or the people my roommate defends in the LA courts everyday who are victims of racial profiling, little knowledge of their rights and corrupt law enforcement. These are among the people who Obama has somehow ignited with hope for the success of their own lives and renewed a sense of patriotism and respect for leadership.

Though the actual hard work of realizing hopes and undoing the mess this country currently is has only just begun, I never thought I'd see the day when a leader would arise that the neighbors around me would feel advocated by and believe in. Not because of what he can do, but because of what his election represents, it was a miracle that Barack Obama got elected. And I feel proud to be an American -- maybe really for the first time -- for how we cared enough to vote today and elect the unlikely candidate that will help inspire people in this country who have been starved of hope for so long and give them a sense of ownership for what their futures could be. A black man as president is no longer just an idyllic fantasy of TV and film. Also, it sure is nice to think that we now have a chance, as Sarah Silverman puts it, to no longer be known as the assholes of the universe.

Now, time to roll up our sleeves.