Now that no one actually cares, Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner have indeed tied that knot. That's a real noble gesture for Ben to have actually married the woman he impregnanted months ago. We'll see how long this one lasts. Hollywood is the new ghetto.
I have to wonder if J.Lo feels extra slighted by the fact that he chose another Jennifer in her stead, and that she's white. I guess at the end of the day, as much time as he may have spent slathering Bain de Soleil in tanning salons, Ben could never be brown either.
Thursday, June 30, 2005
Friday, June 24, 2005
Are Christians Actual People?
Case 1: At the Michael Jackson trial, I was reminded of how Christians will use every high-profile opportunity to wave signs like "You're going to hell" or "Jesus is the only way for you sorry motherf*ckers" (okay, not in so many words) in some socially retarded attempt to get their message across. Whether that's the actual message of God's soul-fulfilling love and beyond-our-comprehension ability to change us or just a person's own agenda to control and feel superior really depends on the particular messenger. Regardless, don't we know that it's just plain weird? Some boys in my hood that are part of the youth group I used to lead had a run-in with a Bible-beater at their school bus stop who told them they were going to hell -- he must have just assumed they were because of their ethnicity and the way they dressed. One boy said he would have socked the dude if he wasn't carrying a Bible. Oh, the sad irony.
Case 2: This whole Southern Baptist movement to boycott Disneyland for its providing benefits to gay employees has me utterly speechless. Yay to the Southern Baptists for finally ending the 8-year movement -- what a victory for the one gesture of not blatantly hating people.
It sure gets tiring to have to defend a group of people you in theory identify yourself with, but in practice are at such odds with when it comes to person-to-person values that are clearly repeated in the actual book known as the Bible. How about spending some of that time actually loving someone or learning how to relate to people different from you? Or is that too liberal a value?
One word: WHY
Case 2: This whole Southern Baptist movement to boycott Disneyland for its providing benefits to gay employees has me utterly speechless. Yay to the Southern Baptists for finally ending the 8-year movement -- what a victory for the one gesture of not blatantly hating people.
It sure gets tiring to have to defend a group of people you in theory identify yourself with, but in practice are at such odds with when it comes to person-to-person values that are clearly repeated in the actual book known as the Bible. How about spending some of that time actually loving someone or learning how to relate to people different from you? Or is that too liberal a value?
One word: WHY
Thursday, June 23, 2005
Being Jennifer Aniston
Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt are also calling it quits professionally, parting ways on their joint production company, Plan B.
I wonder why we can't seem to get enough of hearing about the Jen-Brad-Angie triangle. Do we secretly love that Jennifer Aniston, the funny and beautiful, just got dumped? Does Brangelina make us feel like our issues aren't so bad after all, because at least we had the decency to wait two months before making our move -- or did we do the same thing and now we see beautiful, perfect people doing it too? Or like me, does it make you feel better about the times you felt rejected or humiliated or heartbroken, because clearly men are crazy if they throw away even a Rachel Green -- and at least your breakup wasn't published in every known media outlet?
Either way, I don't envy Jen right about now. It's bad enough when friends are insensitive to how a breakup -- much less a divorce -- may affect you. How much worse to have journalists you don't even know giving you love advice, like you should date Vince Vaughn (player and alleged jerk -- sorry man).
By the way, Brad, we suggest you ditch the faux-towhead look. Unless you're also planning on bleaching your eyebrows.
Split headshot: The official media sign for "breakup."
I wonder why we can't seem to get enough of hearing about the Jen-Brad-Angie triangle. Do we secretly love that Jennifer Aniston, the funny and beautiful, just got dumped? Does Brangelina make us feel like our issues aren't so bad after all, because at least we had the decency to wait two months before making our move -- or did we do the same thing and now we see beautiful, perfect people doing it too? Or like me, does it make you feel better about the times you felt rejected or humiliated or heartbroken, because clearly men are crazy if they throw away even a Rachel Green -- and at least your breakup wasn't published in every known media outlet?
Either way, I don't envy Jen right about now. It's bad enough when friends are insensitive to how a breakup -- much less a divorce -- may affect you. How much worse to have journalists you don't even know giving you love advice, like you should date Vince Vaughn (player and alleged jerk -- sorry man).
By the way, Brad, we suggest you ditch the faux-towhead look. Unless you're also planning on bleaching your eyebrows.
Split headshot: The official media sign for "breakup."
Monday, June 20, 2005
U2, Tribe Called Quest and Rev. Brenda Salter McNeil
I am one of the rare breed that actually likes to be preached at -- but it's gotta be good stuff. Not like meaningless, vague Bible-ese that sometimes gets thrown from the pulpit. For those who have no concept of why this is appealing, the closest I can compare it to would be attending a live show of a band you love: there is something about the music that moves your soul, the words and beat that your whole being can resonate with a "Now, that's right." You know there's nothing better than what you're hearing right then, that it's hard to duplicate the feeling and experience to those not present, other than to fellow worshippers of the band. (Do I hear a hey? Do I get a yo?)
This morning I heard a sermon entitled, "The Power of Weakness." Now that's something that makes me want to listen on. If ever asked what compels me to continue living what very few understand, this topic might be it. For a person who in general wears her heart on her sleeve (and sometimes gets herself in trouble for it), and has delved into situations and conversations that have called for honesty or unabashed apology (and not always met with the same), the word of God's power showing up only when we are weak is a word that brings makes me exhale.
Our democratic culture of so-called freedom and equal opportunity (don't even get me started on that one) says: achieve and succeed, your happiness depends on you -- your charm, your looks, your sex appeal, your social skills, your money, your ability to manipulate, your this your that, and for sure your strength in all of the above. Draining. I'm glad I follow a God that says the least will be on top, and those who are in touch with and admit the whole truth of their weakness and hand it over will get props in a big way -- especially since it will always be a ballsy move, no one ever does this. Now that's pretty good security for me, given my laundry list of issues...
Does this sound like the perfect relationship to you? I mean seriously, when does weakness and neediness equal security with a man?
This morning I heard a sermon entitled, "The Power of Weakness." Now that's something that makes me want to listen on. If ever asked what compels me to continue living what very few understand, this topic might be it. For a person who in general wears her heart on her sleeve (and sometimes gets herself in trouble for it), and has delved into situations and conversations that have called for honesty or unabashed apology (and not always met with the same), the word of God's power showing up only when we are weak is a word that brings makes me exhale.
Our democratic culture of so-called freedom and equal opportunity (don't even get me started on that one) says: achieve and succeed, your happiness depends on you -- your charm, your looks, your sex appeal, your social skills, your money, your ability to manipulate, your this your that, and for sure your strength in all of the above. Draining. I'm glad I follow a God that says the least will be on top, and those who are in touch with and admit the whole truth of their weakness and hand it over will get props in a big way -- especially since it will always be a ballsy move, no one ever does this. Now that's pretty good security for me, given my laundry list of issues...
Does this sound like the perfect relationship to you? I mean seriously, when does weakness and neediness equal security with a man?
Friday, June 17, 2005
Katie Officially Joins the Dark Side
Tom proposes to Katie Holmes
I was wrong -- I overestimated Tom Cruise. I thought they would be engaged a couple of months from now. But apparently, when Tom told EW, "It's gonna happen," in an eerie whisper (really, no one should ever be whispering in an interview -- there is no valid reason), he also meant "I'm crazier than you even think." My friend BBB thinks that everytime Nicole has a movie out, he does something extravagant. I can definitely see that. But seriously, what gives? I also think it's funny that people are still asking, "Is this a publicity stunt?" God people, wake up. It's much worse than that.
What I want to know is, don't either of them have even one friend or family member that will ask some basic questions, like "How many days have you actually known this person -- not counting movies you've seen them in"? Aren't Tom's friends concerned that he's now engaged to a minor (well, practically)? Has our culture really reached a point where it's that taboo to intervene in the lives of the people we love when we see something is wrong? I have know of people who will let friends get married when they know for a fact that someone is already cheating. I for one would speak up for things seen as much more minor but are equally serious in the realm of character and integrity. But those things have become as meaningless to us as commitment and vulnerability. (ooh -- ya burn!)
I was wrong -- I overestimated Tom Cruise. I thought they would be engaged a couple of months from now. But apparently, when Tom told EW, "It's gonna happen," in an eerie whisper (really, no one should ever be whispering in an interview -- there is no valid reason), he also meant "I'm crazier than you even think." My friend BBB thinks that everytime Nicole has a movie out, he does something extravagant. I can definitely see that. But seriously, what gives? I also think it's funny that people are still asking, "Is this a publicity stunt?" God people, wake up. It's much worse than that.
What I want to know is, don't either of them have even one friend or family member that will ask some basic questions, like "How many days have you actually known this person -- not counting movies you've seen them in"? Aren't Tom's friends concerned that he's now engaged to a minor (well, practically)? Has our culture really reached a point where it's that taboo to intervene in the lives of the people we love when we see something is wrong? I have know of people who will let friends get married when they know for a fact that someone is already cheating. I for one would speak up for things seen as much more minor but are equally serious in the realm of character and integrity. But those things have become as meaningless to us as commitment and vulnerability. (ooh -- ya burn!)
Monday, June 13, 2005
Lessons in Blogging
"In about 50 years you might start doin' some thinkin' on your own and by then you'll realize there are only two certainties in life... One, don't do that." -- Will Hunting, 1997
When I first started this blog, a friend of mine told me she admired my bravery in having my name attached to my blog, and that she's rather die than disclose her identity on hers. Her close friends and family for the most part didn't know it existed, giving her full safety to vent.
Well now that I'm about 5 months into my blogging career, and though I'm not about to commit suicide, I sure do see the wisdom in that. I suppose I have committed forms of suicide with certain people. Although I didn't start out wanting my blog to be a venting ground, the forum of being able to write whatever you damn well want to just sort of beckons for honesty. I'm sure if most people published their journal or innermost thoughts, they might also step on some toes.
So after a couple of extended stays in the shithouse, I'm realizing it's too late now. But now I'm much more careful about what I say and who I say it to, even if it's just "people in general." I guess it's good to be kept in check by your own dumb mistakes -- and definitely an exercise in letting go of things and people you can't control.
If only life stayed this simple...
When I first started this blog, a friend of mine told me she admired my bravery in having my name attached to my blog, and that she's rather die than disclose her identity on hers. Her close friends and family for the most part didn't know it existed, giving her full safety to vent.
Well now that I'm about 5 months into my blogging career, and though I'm not about to commit suicide, I sure do see the wisdom in that. I suppose I have committed forms of suicide with certain people. Although I didn't start out wanting my blog to be a venting ground, the forum of being able to write whatever you damn well want to just sort of beckons for honesty. I'm sure if most people published their journal or innermost thoughts, they might also step on some toes.
So after a couple of extended stays in the shithouse, I'm realizing it's too late now. But now I'm much more careful about what I say and who I say it to, even if it's just "people in general." I guess it's good to be kept in check by your own dumb mistakes -- and definitely an exercise in letting go of things and people you can't control.
If only life stayed this simple...
Michael, Did You Do It?
Found not guilty on all 10 counts, the King of Pop once again evades the rules that apply to all other human beings. (Yes, I think he really did it.)
Those giving legal commentary say that there's nothing lonelier than being in the seat of the defendant, and that to be granted a not guilty verdict is like being told you've been cured of cancer and are free again. I found it an interesting comparison. I've known that feeling just being a human being in relationship with God. But it does take being in that lonely seat first in order to understand it. However in mine, and maybe other's cases, we know we're guilty, and it doesn't matter a damn thing what other people think. If a random group of 12 people just told me whatever I had done was okay or that I hadn't done it, it simply wouldn't be enough to make it actually go away.
What happened?
Those giving legal commentary say that there's nothing lonelier than being in the seat of the defendant, and that to be granted a not guilty verdict is like being told you've been cured of cancer and are free again. I found it an interesting comparison. I've known that feeling just being a human being in relationship with God. But it does take being in that lonely seat first in order to understand it. However in mine, and maybe other's cases, we know we're guilty, and it doesn't matter a damn thing what other people think. If a random group of 12 people just told me whatever I had done was okay or that I hadn't done it, it simply wouldn't be enough to make it actually go away.
What happened?
Would You Trust Russell Crowe?
Because apparently his wife doesn't.
From the AP on AOL News:
"I'm, you know, trying to fill my basic obligations to my wife who needs to know that I'm at home, I'm in bed, I haven't had too much to drink and, primely important, that I'm alone,'' he said.
Being a husband and father away from home is "a level of abject loneliness that I'm not used to at all,'' he said.
But, as his wife said, that's not much of an excuse because millions of dads have to travel, he said.
Then again, with couples like Tom & Nicole and Brad & Jennifer breaking up everyday, and being in a business where your husband is paid to get naked and make out with other attractive women, would you?
From the AP on AOL News:
"I'm, you know, trying to fill my basic obligations to my wife who needs to know that I'm at home, I'm in bed, I haven't had too much to drink and, primely important, that I'm alone,'' he said.
Being a husband and father away from home is "a level of abject loneliness that I'm not used to at all,'' he said.
But, as his wife said, that's not much of an excuse because millions of dads have to travel, he said.
Then again, with couples like Tom & Nicole and Brad & Jennifer breaking up everyday, and being in a business where your husband is paid to get naked and make out with other attractive women, would you?
Friday, June 10, 2005
Do We Look Stupid, Brad?
From People Magazine:
And in an interview with Diane Sawyer, which aired on ABC's Primetime Live June 7, Pitt denied that Jolie was a "home wrecker" and implied that their relationship – Pitt's divorce from Jennifer Aniston remains unfinalized – has yet to be defined. Asked if he and his costar are now embarking on a romance, he said, "There's a lot still to, I guess, put into place . . . Listen, I don't know what the future is just yet." On the subject of Aniston, he was more direct, telling Sawyer that their split "doesn't mean you lose the love," though he admitted that "it's difficult now as we determine what the next juncture is."
I'm sorry, are those your breasts Angelina? Because we weren't sure if we caught them.
And in an interview with Diane Sawyer, which aired on ABC's Primetime Live June 7, Pitt denied that Jolie was a "home wrecker" and implied that their relationship – Pitt's divorce from Jennifer Aniston remains unfinalized – has yet to be defined. Asked if he and his costar are now embarking on a romance, he said, "There's a lot still to, I guess, put into place . . . Listen, I don't know what the future is just yet." On the subject of Aniston, he was more direct, telling Sawyer that their split "doesn't mean you lose the love," though he admitted that "it's difficult now as we determine what the next juncture is."
I'm sorry, are those your breasts Angelina? Because we weren't sure if we caught them.
How Sad is This
I dare you to count the number of wrong things in this article.
I'll start us off...1) Their names are Paris and Paris.
I'll start us off...1) Their names are Paris and Paris.
Wednesday, June 08, 2005
My torrid affair with eBay
You may have noticed I dropped off the blog for a couple of dramatic months. Let's just say I was tied up...
I last mentioned eBay in my post, When the sh*t hits the fan, in which I spoke kindly but casually about a certain expectation that I know will be met in my relationship with eBay. But alas, as with so many relationships, things took a nosedive after we consummated it in my first purchase.
Yes, we've had some good times -- I did get a pair of Technic turntables and a solid Vestax Pro 5 mixer out of you, as well as a couple of vinyl collections. But I've been hurt before and I know when I'm being played. It starts with a little harmless flirtation: a pair of boots here, a hip-hop record there. Then you get into fantasy mode: My God, the possibilities of endless good deals on nearly new or NWOT (eBayese for "new without tags") items! The obscure bands I can never find albums for whose CDs will come to me with a simple search! That thing I thought I might need that one time that I can now get for cheap! Then eBay comes in for the kill with your first auction item won -- when you were just playing around, bidding pennies for crap. But the thrill is real. You move on to bigger purchases, get in a few tussles with faceless bitches that get a little ugly, but you come out good in the end. eBay still loves you, right?
But then it happens: You get swooped. (A "swooper" will violate by filching your item within the last three minutes of bidding. Dirty.) You learn a few lessons about placing your highest bid, but then it happens again...and again. It soon becomes clear that your relationship has gone from mutual love and respect to shameful degradation in just a few short weeks (or less than 30 seconds, depending on how you look at it).
My addiction to eBay stems in part from my own OCD, I admit. As another eA-er (eBayer Anonymous) commiserated with me, "eBay is the OCD person's dream come true." eBay is that one that seems so perfect with all the right qualities and answers, but in the end, really is just a fantasy. eBay isn't committed to you like you are, and has not one, not two -- but millions of other partners. You didn't want to believe it at first, even though you knew it was true.
Sigh. Back to working on relationships with real people.
I last mentioned eBay in my post, When the sh*t hits the fan, in which I spoke kindly but casually about a certain expectation that I know will be met in my relationship with eBay. But alas, as with so many relationships, things took a nosedive after we consummated it in my first purchase.
Yes, we've had some good times -- I did get a pair of Technic turntables and a solid Vestax Pro 5 mixer out of you, as well as a couple of vinyl collections. But I've been hurt before and I know when I'm being played. It starts with a little harmless flirtation: a pair of boots here, a hip-hop record there. Then you get into fantasy mode: My God, the possibilities of endless good deals on nearly new or NWOT (eBayese for "new without tags") items! The obscure bands I can never find albums for whose CDs will come to me with a simple search! That thing I thought I might need that one time that I can now get for cheap! Then eBay comes in for the kill with your first auction item won -- when you were just playing around, bidding pennies for crap. But the thrill is real. You move on to bigger purchases, get in a few tussles with faceless bitches that get a little ugly, but you come out good in the end. eBay still loves you, right?
But then it happens: You get swooped. (A "swooper" will violate by filching your item within the last three minutes of bidding. Dirty.) You learn a few lessons about placing your highest bid, but then it happens again...and again. It soon becomes clear that your relationship has gone from mutual love and respect to shameful degradation in just a few short weeks (or less than 30 seconds, depending on how you look at it).
My addiction to eBay stems in part from my own OCD, I admit. As another eA-er (eBayer Anonymous) commiserated with me, "eBay is the OCD person's dream come true." eBay is that one that seems so perfect with all the right qualities and answers, but in the end, really is just a fantasy. eBay isn't committed to you like you are, and has not one, not two -- but millions of other partners. You didn't want to believe it at first, even though you knew it was true.
Sigh. Back to working on relationships with real people.
Solution: The Not-Made-In-U.S.A. Man
My roommate Foxy Browne has gotten herself a real, flesh and blood, got-my-own-identity, able-to-commit and totally-in-love-with-you man. And of course, he's not American. She met him at a cafe of all places, and it was practically love at first sight. He saw, he liked, he asked for her number. And after a few rounds of crash-course culture and communication (Foxy's African-Am, homeslice is African), they have stars in their eyes and starting to say syrup-y things to one another. In a good way.
Foxy's not alone in her discovery of the all-non-American love. Gwyneth found happiness with the English, Johnny is down with the French, Britney is luvin' -- okay so she's just ghetto.
Note to self: Book that trip to south Asia ASAP.
Akeem: "Is it just me, or does every woman in Queens have some kind of an emotional problem?" (Now that's real wisdom out of Hollywood.)
Foxy's not alone in her discovery of the all-non-American love. Gwyneth found happiness with the English, Johnny is down with the French, Britney is luvin' -- okay so she's just ghetto.
Note to self: Book that trip to south Asia ASAP.
Akeem: "Is it just me, or does every woman in Queens have some kind of an emotional problem?"
(Now that's real wisdom out of Hollywood.)
Monday, June 06, 2005
The Daddy Fantasy
In a word, gross.
Examples past and present include Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones (although at least she is a full-grown woman), Billy Bob and Angelina, Ashton and Demi (the Mommy Fantasy), Lindsay Lohan and Bruce Willis (momentary), and did anyone see that flesh-crawler of a movie with Winona and Richard Gere?
As the sickness spreads throughout Hollywood, it's only a matter of time before it infests homes near you. We are slowly going from a collective, "eww," to the inevitable conclusion of everything in this country, "well, whatever makes you happy." "Happy" being a relative term, of course.
The latest victims are Tom and Katie, everyone favorite dartboard accessory du jour. Not quite sure where the uproar is coming from, given the multitude of couples that paved their way. Is it for real? Of course, it is -- well, fake-real. Poor Tom's in mid-life crisis and Katie is beside herself at the lavish attention of her former school-girl crush of two years ago. The couple zoomed to the MTV Movie Awards on a hog (of course), but dodged Liz Hernandez's Power 106 mike -- who was hoping to get an impromptu rap from Tommy C. about his newfound love. I think he woulda done it pre-Oprah show.
Careful, Katie. When you take away the Raybans, the laundry list of Spielberg blockbusters and Oscar noms, you'll find just your average freaky, fundamentalist Scientologist with female control issues.
Live footage of Tommy C!
Does this look funny to you?
Examples past and present include Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones (although at least she is a full-grown woman), Billy Bob and Angelina, Ashton and Demi (the Mommy Fantasy), Lindsay Lohan and Bruce Willis (momentary), and did anyone see that flesh-crawler of a movie with Winona and Richard Gere?
As the sickness spreads throughout Hollywood, it's only a matter of time before it infests homes near you. We are slowly going from a collective, "eww," to the inevitable conclusion of everything in this country, "well, whatever makes you happy." "Happy" being a relative term, of course.
The latest victims are Tom and Katie, everyone favorite dartboard accessory du jour. Not quite sure where the uproar is coming from, given the multitude of couples that paved their way. Is it for real? Of course, it is -- well, fake-real. Poor Tom's in mid-life crisis and Katie is beside herself at the lavish attention of her former school-girl crush of two years ago. The couple zoomed to the MTV Movie Awards on a hog (of course), but dodged Liz Hernandez's Power 106 mike -- who was hoping to get an impromptu rap from Tommy C. about his newfound love. I think he woulda done it pre-Oprah show.
Careful, Katie. When you take away the Raybans, the laundry list of Spielberg blockbusters and Oscar noms, you'll find just your average freaky, fundamentalist Scientologist with female control issues.
Live footage of Tommy C!
Does this look funny to you?
Friday, June 03, 2005
June Crush of the Month: Help Me, Obi-Wan!
I. Love. Ewan.
He had me at "Moulin Rouge," singing his heart out as the adorable Christian, obsessed with love (which my sister will scoff at -- she discovered him much sooner). But it was no question who got the monthly crush slot for his gentle-yet-badass Obi-Wan Kenobi in "Star Wars, Episode 3." Alec Guiness would have been proud. Ewan nails the character with grace, and I love old Ben for his commitment and deep care for Anakin, despite the boy's crazy issues that make him betray his old mentor and loyal friend. Ewan's Obi-Wan holds fast to his Jedi convictions, and doesn't back down even when it means abandoning the one he had invested so much of his time and heart into. Obi-Wan, I feel your pain. Now will you marry me?
From lovestruck, singing bohemian...
...to saber-wielding Jedi master
He had me at "Moulin Rouge," singing his heart out as the adorable Christian, obsessed with love (which my sister will scoff at -- she discovered him much sooner). But it was no question who got the monthly crush slot for his gentle-yet-badass Obi-Wan Kenobi in "Star Wars, Episode 3." Alec Guiness would have been proud. Ewan nails the character with grace, and I love old Ben for his commitment and deep care for Anakin, despite the boy's crazy issues that make him betray his old mentor and loyal friend. Ewan's Obi-Wan holds fast to his Jedi convictions, and doesn't back down even when it means abandoning the one he had invested so much of his time and heart into. Obi-Wan, I feel your pain. Now will you marry me?
From lovestruck, singing bohemian...
...to saber-wielding Jedi master
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